Friday nights at Lounge Lizards are weeeeird. I never know what I'm walking in to. Last week, co-worker Alex and I experienced the slowest shift of our combined careers. Left with, like $30. "Hey, $30! Guess I'll go throw it in the street." -[Steve Martin]The week before that was one of the busiest nights I have worked in my career. I spent most of ( Read more... )

I'm sitting here doing little computer oddjobs before work (you are coming to see me at The Hideout, 6p-2a tonight, aren't you?). I'm feeling like Katharine Helmond in that plastic surgery scene from “Brazil” with my cucumber face masque pulling back my skin with g-force effectiveness.

I'm not quite sure what good this cucumber face masque stuff ( Read more... )

Just woke up. (Yah, it's about 2p. Bite me.) Wende rang me asking me to cover a shift tonight. A shift I rarely work.

So as a special announcement to all those people who want to come visit me at The Hideout, but can never seem to stay awake/sober enough past 2am to do so, I tell you this FunFact™: The Marquis will be in da house from 6p-2a ( Read more... )

I got to work around 10 last night, a bit groggy from just waking up. First thing out of my mouth upon arriving at Lounge Lizards: "Oh my!"

There was a couple at the bar, playing some serious tonsil hockey. Or like the woman was bulemic, but had her fingers tragically amputated in a freak pottery class incident, and required the aid of the ( Read more... )

Last year around this time, life was substantially more glum. I was still several G's in the hole, and my then-pretty-somewhat-still-newish job of bartending graveyards at The Hideout was looking rather farcical. I attribute that to my relative inexperience, lack of a devoted, slavish, drooling cult following (o/~ There's tooo many of you! There's ( Read more... )

But I can try.

What I wanted to do last night:

1. Go to Shim Sham to catch a performance of Grenadine McGunkle's Double-Wide Christmas with some friends. 8:30p
2. Get completely across town to Rock And Bowl for the premiere showing of "Attack of the Cock Faced Killer," the movie which features housemate Nalcée and Tempo fucking in a barn and being ( Read more... )

Wednesday was Rockstaralicious. I got pimped up in red vinyl pants with steel loopy things down the legs, a black lace and vinyl shirt, my oversized floor-length black muppet coat and a two foot high fur … hat thing. One must dress to distress when going to see Louie Fontaine play - imagine the lovechild of Iggy Pop and Tom Waits with a charming ( Read more... )

Yah, that's a pretty crass, lo-brow, racist title to this piece, but let me explain a li'l sumpin-sumpin to you who don't live in the Deeeep South ( Read more... )

It's the best way to do it ( Read more... )

I did my salt line early last night to keep out evil spirits and dumbasses - with only modest success. I guess I've been overusing the Morton's container and it's losing its potency. Like heroin.

Bad People:

• A group came in with two open bottles of wine and asked for glasses. "Are you fucking mad!?" I asked, "This is a bar, you stupid shits!" I was ( Read more... )